Winning

I won a prize!!!! Actually two prizes. I won two community service awards at the end of this school year. I was incredibly excited when I won them. One was at a school-wide ceremony, and the other was from the Black Law Students Assocation. I was completely humbled by them both because in each instance I thought of other people that could have won this same award. Other people who work just as hard, if not harder, to make public service happen, to make public interest a real interest in the lives of others. And God chose me. It's as if he moved everybody aside and personally hand picked me, which God does all the time, I mean, think of David. But to be the recipient of that treatment was just pretty much amazing :)

After reflecting on my awards, I concluded, that God is really just so good. I happily accepted each award knowing that God picked me, and that what God wills no one can take away. If anything the awards were testaments of God's love for me, and his approval of where I am in my life. Prior to winning them, I had just complained to my mom about how I just was not sure what I was going to do, and how I was really trying to figure out God's plan for my life. And then BAM!! I get some awards. If that's not a sign of God's approval and encouragement, I don't know what is. I've been running so as to win the prize (1 Corinthians 9: 24-25), and God gave me one; actually two!

This, of course, encourages me to keep running. To keep living for God, and to keep praying and doing his will. He knows what's best for me, and I need to trust Him wholeheartedly with my life, because He knows the plans that He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11), and I need to just trust that. And with that, I'm off to train. Peace!

1 Corinthians 9:24-25; Jeremiah 29:11; 1 Peter 5:10

Reason To Smile

It's funny how you try to run away from yourself, and say you're not really one way, but eventually the truth comes out. Like I tried to make this blog about my general thoughts and ideas that I have throughout the day, but the fact is, that I keep coming back to one thing: Jesus. He is all of my being, and it just comes out. That being said, I wanted to write about a song that I've had in my head. I've been kinda down this week with not having a job and all, and just really being frustrated about trying to find my way. And I woke up today with a heaviness on me, that I was not feeling at all. But I'm thankful that God is faithful, and will never leave me.

I have this song in my head, and I'd like to believe that God planted in my spirit for today, when he knew that I would need it. The lyrics: Single-minded. Wholehearted. One thing I ask. That I, may gaze upon your beauty oh Lord. That I may seek your holy face. That I may know you in an intimate way, and follow after you all of my days.

Those are the lyrics. I think that's Psalm 27. But that's what has been playing in my head today. I think God gave that to me to help me keep my focus. To know that in all I do, in all that I am, my ultimate purpose is to follow Him, and love Him. So that's what I take with me today. It's not about how big my house is compared to someone else's. It's not about being jealous of others. It's not about feeling discouraged because of my job situation. It's about believing in His Word, and drawing comfort from that. And believing that when He says "I'll never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5) He really means it. No holds barred. Because of that, because of my single-mindedness that God has given me, I have reason to smile.

Psalm 27; Hebrews 13:5

Mulitplying

I was just reflecting during my quiet time. In Mark 4, Jesus talks about how people will hear his word and act upon it, and produce good fruit. That's the concept, right? Everybody following Christ wants to do his word and produce good fruit, right? But what struck me is that he then went on to say that some produce 30 times as much, some 60 times as much and some even 100 times as much as the Word "sown" in their heart. So, I asked myself--am I a 30, 60 or 100 fold person? Do I multiply God's word so that I have 30 pieces of "fruit" (ie. joy, love, peace, patience--Galatians 5), 60 pieces or 100 pieces? I can think of some things that probably put me somewhere between 30 and 60. Though I'd like to think closer to 60 than 30. But that's not the point because I'm trying to get to 100. Jesus never called for mediocrity. If anything, He wants us to step away from the norm, to "come out from among them." (If I were a better studier, I'd be able to quote that passage, I think it's in 1 or 2 Timothy though). For me it's not enough to read the word and only pray sometimes ( as opposed to all the time). It's not enough to read the word, and only cuss sometimes (as opposed to never). I'm trying to go the full 100. I should remember that each day. There's no time for playing games. I'm aiming for perfection. And though I may never reach it, that doesn't mean I shouldn't keep trying.

In Him,

WLG

Mark 4: 1-20

Traveling Lessons

So I saw this girl, woman rather, at the airport. I was on my way from Atlanta to Philadelphia with my husband. We were traveling to see my family for the holidays. Wanting to arrive early, we had a few hours to kill at the airport. And you know how if you're at the airport for a while, you see the same people from your flight? You see them when you check in. First, you think maybe it's just a coincidence. And you notice that they're nice looking. Whatever. Then you see them in the security line, but a different one though--just far enough away from your line to make you think nothing of it really. Then you see them on the escalator, and then at your gate.

Well, that's how it was with this woman. She was beautiful. Tall, a little thick, long hair, perfectly curled, caramel skin. She was beautiful. And I was jealous. It was like looking at her made me self concious about all the things that I couldn't be for my husband that I knew he was attracted to.

She was stylish: brown riding boots, brown leggings of a slightly different hue, a green turtle neck and a matching brown vest/jacket. Hair perfectly curled. Nails painted. Makeup flawless.
Just looking at her, I had to hate her. From my spot across the corridor in my powder blue sweatsuit, white sneakers, makeupless face, and chipped clear nail polish, I was jealous. Definitely jealous.

I don't know why she stuck out so much in my mind. Or why I even obsessed so much over it. I couldn't stop looking at her. It's like someone was holding up a mirror and saying "see, see; this is what you're not."

But of course, that's not where the story ends. Because it would be pointless to stop just with that. And the next part of this story may even seem a little cliche. But what? I just stop feeling sorry for myself because I don't look the way I want to look? Yeah right. Life's too short for that crap.

However, I will resist the temptation of going off on a long tirade about how fine I am, and how I look good and how God made me perfect just the way I am. I think to go there is missing the point too. I think the real lesson in the mystery girl, is to accept things as they are and to be OK with them being that way. She was pretty; gorgeous even. And that's all there was too it.

Even if I were to tell myself that I'm beautiful, and talented, and smart, and that my husband loves me, and that if he wanted to marry her, he wouldn't be with me, and all of those wonderful things, that wouldn't make that mystery woman any less beautiful. The secret, I think, and not one that women master well, is to be comfortable with who we are, AND still be able to acknowledge when others just have us beat.

That day at the airport, the mystery woman had me beat. Hands down, no doubt about it. But I guess I have the opportunity for growth to be able to say "and that's all right with me."
I know this may sound a little defeatist, but I think it really gets down to being able to acknowldge someone else's beauty, greatness, intelligence, brilliance, without thinking that we're taking something away from ourselves. This takes confidence and doesn't come easily. But this task is, I think, essential to a well-rounded life.

Ephesians 2:10; James 4:6

First Official Post

This is my first post on my blog. I'm just trying it out, I'm not even sure if I'm going to keep it, but I thought I would just have a place to record my thoughts and see how this goes. Here goes something...